THE IRONY is that we are the authentic ones. I have RNLA, Rampant Nonbinary Love and Acceptance for you💛 Let me tell you how this works: trans and nonbinary people (and LGBTQ people in general by the way) are told constantly that they are “fake.” Of course you feel like an imposter, the larger judgmental cis world calls you fake and implies you are fake and laughs at you and makes snide comments at you and disrespects you DAILY. Thank you for helping me feel less alone💛💛🥰 #nonbinary #nonbinarypride Via “the internets.” I’m grateful for you. AND WOULDN’T YOU KNOW IT? I have that now. I imagined many people loving me for exactly who I am. I would imagine the opposite of lonely…being adored and applauded and surrounded with the love I didn’t have from others and was never taught to give myself💛🌈 I play-imagined a group effort of unconditional love. And do you know what I would imagine? Do you know what was my favorite thing to pretend? PEOPLE. I had dragged an old trunk to the barn when no one was looking and over months I filled it with pretend-grand costume bits. I would walk across our farm and hide in the barn. I used to dress up in dresses and hats I’d stolen. This era is a mirror image of 10-year-old Jeffrey’s life.

I’ve been thinking a lot about loneliness lately and how lgbtq kids especially feel it. Well, most people feel left out every now and then💛That’s not to diminish YOUR feelings. But I digress………the point is: start with respect and you will easily and smoothly come to understand trans lives. And then, those people’s self-hate comes spilling out all over trans people. Many people do not practice this self-respect as a window to self-understanding. You will never see why you do what you do unless you can have compassion for why you do what you do. The constant disrespect people show themselves regarding their own choices and foibles and missteps only leads to a lack of self-understanding.

And, of course because I’m Buddhist, I MUST ALSO TELL YOU this is the only way to understand yourself. It is only through compassion that you will understand. In other words, LEADING and STARTING with respect (and kindness and compassion) will eventually bring you around to understanding. Being able to set aside your own assumptions and upbringing and entrenched beliefs, and yes ego, is the key to accepting people who are different than you. This is the key to trans liberation💛 Far too many cis people assume that they need to UNDERSTAND trans lives and experiences and people, before they can RESPECT trans lives and experiences and people.

Jeffrey marsh how to be you